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Getting Pregnant, not so easy.

There’s one thing I always knew about myself, 1000%, and that was that I was meant to be a mommy. My journey to motherhood was paved with all sorts of bumps and road blocks though. After my husband and I got married we started actively trying right away. Truth be told, we were half trying even before our wedding day. I always thought, try for a few months and get pregnant super easy. Well, that was not my case. I mentioned at my yearly appointment with my OB/GYN in October that we were trying for a few months now. He asked about my efforts, ovulation tracking mostly. I told him that according to my app I was scheduled to ovulate soon. Well he did a ultrasound and found that not true. I wasn’t even close. This led to a worry that I wasn’t ovulating naturally. So he gave me some hormone pills to help me ovulate. I was so excited because I had never had regular cycles and thought to myself, “these pills = baby.” Boy was I wrong. They made my cycle even more irregular and gave me symptoms of pregnancy each month. I would get so excited, pee on a stick and see negative after negative. Eventually I stopped the pills because it was too much. From there I kept getting more frustrated month after month with no luck. My emotions were everywhere and I felt like my body was failing me. My mental health took a nose dive. I was so depressed and was having panic attacks every time I saw someone else post a pregnancy announcement on social media. I remember praying every night, pleading with God to give me the one thing I have always wanted. In December of 2019, after over a year of tracking and pain, I finally gave up. I entered therapy for the third time in my life because I was broken. I ended up buying some random supplement from amazon in December that was supposed to be good for fertility figuring what the hell. I had also planned to call my OB in January or February to discuss IUI treatments. Well, a week before I was going to call, I had plans to go out with some friends for ones birthday. My period was a few days late which was pretty normal for me. I decided that morning that I would take a test to make sure that if I wanted a drink that night at dinner I could have one. I peed on that stick, put it down and finished my business. I barely even looked at it at first because I assumed it was going to be negative, just like all the ones before. Then I saw it, a bright blue line across the little circle. I dropped the test and picked it back up in disbelief. I remember my husband was asleep in the other room. I remember the exact words I said. “Umm babe? I’m Pregnant.” We were both in disbelief but my excitement surged immediately. I remember calling my OB and they scheduled me for an ultrasound 6 weeks later. Those were the longest 6 weeks of my life. I just kept praying, please please please let this be real. The day of the appointment I was terrified. I couldn’t stop shaking as she was doing the ultrasound. Then the tech said “do you see the heartbeat?” There it was, that little flutter on the screen completely stopped me. My baby. They’re okay. From that moment on, I was connected 1000%. Nothing else mattered except that baby. Every moment was amazing. I had such an amazing pregnancy and am so blessed. Looking back, everyone told me just let it happen, stop stressing. That’s exactly what happened. Now as I type this, i’m holding my sweet baby boy in my arms and every ounce of pain and anguish in my journey was worth it. You were worth it baby boy. 

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