ashleypajor

My Angel. Your due date was 1/8/2022. You would be turning a year old right now. But i’m not planning your birthday party. Instead i’m crying, wishing I could be with you for your heavenly birthday today.  How are you supposed to move forward after the loss of your baby? I remember asking myself that question so many times after I lost Angel. But I didn’t have a choice, the world moved forward. As much as I felt stuck in my grief, time moved on. Then I got pregnant with Carter. It was unexpected, I remember taking the test that evening saying “it will put your mind at ease that you’re just stressed.” But it wasn’t stress. When I saw that line and the other test read “pregnant” everything changed. I was terrified. Terrified to lose him. Terrified to have him. Terrified of everything in-between. I lost Angel in July of 2021. I was due with Carter in July 2022. It seemed like a sign that things were going to be okay and it mostly was. But as time went on through pregnancy I started to...